Actor, producer, writer and all-round funny girl Monica Parker has written a revealing book about her years of yo-yo dieting (Jason Jones - Photo)
By MONICA PARKER
Fri., March 28, 2014
Diet #11: Bananas and Milk
Cost: $14
Weight lost: 4 pounds
Weight gained: 18 pounds
I stealthily slipped back into my far more satisfying life with Beverly and Katja, careful to leave a few things lying around my old room in the hope that my parents would think I was simply staying away for just a few days, my closet still filled with enough clothes to fool the eye as I shuttled back and forth between my real life and my obligatory shift work managing my parents, hopefully making enough appearances to keep the ruse going. I was relieved to be back with my friends and on the wagon in an attempt to recover from living in the “food time warp” that I got sucked into at my parent’s house.
The bananas and milk diet, which had been around for decades on the top 10 celebrity diets list, had made a return appearance, and became the newest crazy fad I embraced. I had always detested milk, but now I had to swallow gobs of the slimy stuff. I tried, really I did, but I couldn’t do it, so I made an executive decision and substituted chocolate milk. This was somewhat more palatable, but after four days of nothing but half a dozen bananas and three or four giant cups of chocolate milk, I was not just bored, hungry, and seriously irritable but, worst of all, I was blocked — as in severely constipated. Much of my time was spent rocking back and forth on my bed clutching my stomach as it throbbed and died, like a car that had been fed the wrong kind of gasoline, the rest of the time, I was pacing back and forth in front of the refrigerator and pantry, visualizing every food I craved — and none of them were bananas. I wanted bread, salami, cheese and cake, and I didn’t care in what order. On day five, I couldn’t look at another banana as they were now the enemy and I treated those little Chiquita’s like the betrayers they had become by tossing a whole bunch of them into the backyard composter, giving them the punishment they deserved. Bye-bye bananas! The sickly sweet and slimy chocolate milk was given an equally harsh punishment as it swirled to its death down the kitchen sink drain.
But that wasn’t the only kind of blockage I was suffering from. I had shoved the horrible date rape deep under a carpet of food and denial, taking on all the shame and even some of the blame. I knew intellectually that it wasn’t my fault but that didn’t stop me from a daily dose of emotional self-flagellation. I knew I should talk to someone, but the dishonour I felt was too big to share so I buried it deep down in the vault for another day.
If one’s body was one’s temple, I’m pretty sure mine would have to have been considered a teardown; I was my own slumlord. I was in need of chocolate and lots of it, as in deep, dark, soothing, mind-numbing chocolate. I had a spiritual ritual when it came to eating chocolate and no Hershey’s crap need ever apply. My chocolate had to be a silky, crave-worthy temptation, a dangerous and potent siren that called out to me, and I had a seductive ritual to consume it. I would slowly take off the outer wrapping and place the foil-wrapped bar between my thighs just long enough to get it to just the right texture, still hard but creamy-dreamy, mouth-meltingly perfect. Potatoes were my other solace-inducing, go-to antidepressants. I didn’t care if they were baked, roasted, mashed, scalloped or the most tantalizing of all, heavily salted and french-fried. “Aaahh” I would become weak at the knees at the oh-so familiar taste that would soothe me into a sense of tranquility
Beverly had originally rented our small flat for herself but then Katja moved in and my arrival only added to the chaos… None of us wanted to live through a Bay of Pigs incident of our own making, so we decided to go house hunting…
Beverly and I found a sweet, albeit even more run-down, but much bigger house in a great neighborhood, and on the day we signed the lease Katja was fired. Each week she’d fallen in love with whichever hunk she was photographing, making her perpetually exhausted and continuously late, which meant Beverly and I were on the hook for all of the rent if Katja didn’t find another job soon. She did, but it was as a tour guide to all those who wished to visit the unexplored Third World. Before she left, she told me she had met a guy who she thought would be perfect for me. My heart thumped a bit faster, no one had ever offered to fix me up before. I excitedly asked her what he looked like, what had she told him about me, and why was he perfect for me? She looked confused, then realized that she had made me think she was fixing me up on a blind date. Instead she wanted me to meet a guy who had just started a television station and was looking for unusual ideas. Now I was confused. Katja explained that she thought it would be amazing if I did an exercise show. She told the guy I was big, but the most limber person she’d ever known. She gave me a hug and then said his name was Moses. “He’ll call you,” and with that she was gone. I wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or flattered, and I already had a career. It was time to find a new roommate. Bye-bye Katja.
And so batty Patty entered our lives bringing chaos and crazy with her. I met Patty at a party and she seemed warm and engaging, if a bit wild. During a break in a beer-quaffing contest with some other revelers, I overheard Patty mention she was desperately looking for a place to live. No due diligence was done, other than asking her if she had a paying job, which she did. She told us she did very well selling gardening supplies and had done it for years. We were ecstatic to have solved our problem and invited Patty to move in. She neglected to tell us she would be accompanied by a pair of destructive cats who loved nothing more than shredding anything soft, meaning our curtains, our sofa, and a few of our coats. It didn’t take long for our new home to look like we lived in a string factory. Beverly and I wanted to cook the damn cats in a stew along with the shredded sofa bits, but Patty’s monthly cash contribution was more important to us than the horror of newly fringed furniture, so we said nothing. Then, out of nowhere Patty accused me of wearing her clothes, which could only have worked if I was wearing her sweaters as ankle warmers. Patty was 5'9" and slender as a willow tree, whereas I was 5'6" and as round as a stump. She habitually flung crazy and paranoid accusations in all directions and Beverly and I tried to stay out of their trajectory, but when her dealer showed up at our back door at 2 am demanding payment for a shipment of weed, we understood why she was bonkers and what kind of garden supplies she was really selling. Bye-bye Patty.
There wasn’t even time to spread the word that we had a vacancy before Beverly announced she was leaving her job, her life, and me, to go live with Gunnar, a boy she had met while climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with her previous boyfriend. I was happy for her but devastated; she was my best and most trusted friend. Bye-bye Beverly.
I was feeling scared and abandoned. I couldn’t afford the house on my own but none of my close friends needed a place to live. I wasn’t ready to try anyone new but I also didn’t want to have to move back into my parent’s nightmare. So, I found a second job selling fabric in a very exclusive shop in the same area as my mother’s boutique, and I shuttled back and forth between the two. At night when I’d get home I was exhausted, and the idea of folding anything after hours of rolling, straightening, and tidying both stores was anathema to me; I didn’t care if my clothes piled up into mountains or if my home looked like it was inhabited by rabid pack rats. Somehow I knew my mother was gloating at her prophecy now fulfilled. I ate anything and everything as long as it didn’t require cooking. Junk food was the fastest fix, along with spooning straight out of any one of the containers of ice cream I kept stashed in the freezer. Then I’d fall onto the clothes-strewn sofa and pass out from exhaustion.
After a few marathon weeks of long hours, I was almost comatose when my phone rang—some guy called Moses. The name rang a bell but that was all, until he mentioned that Katja had given him my number. He suggested I come down to the television station and we meet, as he was intrigued by my idea. I didn’t have an idea, Katja did, and I wasn’t sure what it was exactly but I didn’t say that and I agreed to meet him.
City Television was not just new, it was an outrageous affront to conventional TV. It was a place where the inmates were running the asylum. It was the brainchild of this man Moses Znaimer and he was unlike anyone I had ever met: brash, bold, and brilliant. I was terrified of him. But being young and completely without any knowledge of how television worked or who should be on it gave me my edge. I spun bullshit into whole cloth as I painted an indelible picture of a fat girl with long blonde hair who could do backbends and the splits while making small talk and, to sweeten the mix, I promised interviews with anyone who thought they were experts in the world of diets and food. I had barely finished what was my first ever “pitch” when Moses dismissed me by saying: “Great can’t wait to see your show.” Me too, I thought . . . What? This was crazy but exciting.
It would take a few months to pull this unexpected turn of events together. There was no real money, just plenty of anticipation while I and a group of funny, creative minds brainstormed what was to become a huge change in direction for me. In the meantime, rent had to be paid and dresses needed to be designed, and I needed to stop eating.
Getting Waisted is in stores April 1, or pre-order it now at amazon.ca and chapters.indigo.ca, HCI Books, 281 pages, $19.95
Fri., March 28, 2014
Diet #11: Bananas and Milk
Cost: $14
Weight lost: 4 pounds
Weight gained: 18 pounds
I stealthily slipped back into my far more satisfying life with Beverly and Katja, careful to leave a few things lying around my old room in the hope that my parents would think I was simply staying away for just a few days, my closet still filled with enough clothes to fool the eye as I shuttled back and forth between my real life and my obligatory shift work managing my parents, hopefully making enough appearances to keep the ruse going. I was relieved to be back with my friends and on the wagon in an attempt to recover from living in the “food time warp” that I got sucked into at my parent’s house.
The bananas and milk diet, which had been around for decades on the top 10 celebrity diets list, had made a return appearance, and became the newest crazy fad I embraced. I had always detested milk, but now I had to swallow gobs of the slimy stuff. I tried, really I did, but I couldn’t do it, so I made an executive decision and substituted chocolate milk. This was somewhat more palatable, but after four days of nothing but half a dozen bananas and three or four giant cups of chocolate milk, I was not just bored, hungry, and seriously irritable but, worst of all, I was blocked — as in severely constipated. Much of my time was spent rocking back and forth on my bed clutching my stomach as it throbbed and died, like a car that had been fed the wrong kind of gasoline, the rest of the time, I was pacing back and forth in front of the refrigerator and pantry, visualizing every food I craved — and none of them were bananas. I wanted bread, salami, cheese and cake, and I didn’t care in what order. On day five, I couldn’t look at another banana as they were now the enemy and I treated those little Chiquita’s like the betrayers they had become by tossing a whole bunch of them into the backyard composter, giving them the punishment they deserved. Bye-bye bananas! The sickly sweet and slimy chocolate milk was given an equally harsh punishment as it swirled to its death down the kitchen sink drain.
But that wasn’t the only kind of blockage I was suffering from. I had shoved the horrible date rape deep under a carpet of food and denial, taking on all the shame and even some of the blame. I knew intellectually that it wasn’t my fault but that didn’t stop me from a daily dose of emotional self-flagellation. I knew I should talk to someone, but the dishonour I felt was too big to share so I buried it deep down in the vault for another day.
If one’s body was one’s temple, I’m pretty sure mine would have to have been considered a teardown; I was my own slumlord. I was in need of chocolate and lots of it, as in deep, dark, soothing, mind-numbing chocolate. I had a spiritual ritual when it came to eating chocolate and no Hershey’s crap need ever apply. My chocolate had to be a silky, crave-worthy temptation, a dangerous and potent siren that called out to me, and I had a seductive ritual to consume it. I would slowly take off the outer wrapping and place the foil-wrapped bar between my thighs just long enough to get it to just the right texture, still hard but creamy-dreamy, mouth-meltingly perfect. Potatoes were my other solace-inducing, go-to antidepressants. I didn’t care if they were baked, roasted, mashed, scalloped or the most tantalizing of all, heavily salted and french-fried. “Aaahh” I would become weak at the knees at the oh-so familiar taste that would soothe me into a sense of tranquility
Beverly had originally rented our small flat for herself but then Katja moved in and my arrival only added to the chaos… None of us wanted to live through a Bay of Pigs incident of our own making, so we decided to go house hunting…
Beverly and I found a sweet, albeit even more run-down, but much bigger house in a great neighborhood, and on the day we signed the lease Katja was fired. Each week she’d fallen in love with whichever hunk she was photographing, making her perpetually exhausted and continuously late, which meant Beverly and I were on the hook for all of the rent if Katja didn’t find another job soon. She did, but it was as a tour guide to all those who wished to visit the unexplored Third World. Before she left, she told me she had met a guy who she thought would be perfect for me. My heart thumped a bit faster, no one had ever offered to fix me up before. I excitedly asked her what he looked like, what had she told him about me, and why was he perfect for me? She looked confused, then realized that she had made me think she was fixing me up on a blind date. Instead she wanted me to meet a guy who had just started a television station and was looking for unusual ideas. Now I was confused. Katja explained that she thought it would be amazing if I did an exercise show. She told the guy I was big, but the most limber person she’d ever known. She gave me a hug and then said his name was Moses. “He’ll call you,” and with that she was gone. I wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or flattered, and I already had a career. It was time to find a new roommate. Bye-bye Katja.
And so batty Patty entered our lives bringing chaos and crazy with her. I met Patty at a party and she seemed warm and engaging, if a bit wild. During a break in a beer-quaffing contest with some other revelers, I overheard Patty mention she was desperately looking for a place to live. No due diligence was done, other than asking her if she had a paying job, which she did. She told us she did very well selling gardening supplies and had done it for years. We were ecstatic to have solved our problem and invited Patty to move in. She neglected to tell us she would be accompanied by a pair of destructive cats who loved nothing more than shredding anything soft, meaning our curtains, our sofa, and a few of our coats. It didn’t take long for our new home to look like we lived in a string factory. Beverly and I wanted to cook the damn cats in a stew along with the shredded sofa bits, but Patty’s monthly cash contribution was more important to us than the horror of newly fringed furniture, so we said nothing. Then, out of nowhere Patty accused me of wearing her clothes, which could only have worked if I was wearing her sweaters as ankle warmers. Patty was 5'9" and slender as a willow tree, whereas I was 5'6" and as round as a stump. She habitually flung crazy and paranoid accusations in all directions and Beverly and I tried to stay out of their trajectory, but when her dealer showed up at our back door at 2 am demanding payment for a shipment of weed, we understood why she was bonkers and what kind of garden supplies she was really selling. Bye-bye Patty.
There wasn’t even time to spread the word that we had a vacancy before Beverly announced she was leaving her job, her life, and me, to go live with Gunnar, a boy she had met while climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with her previous boyfriend. I was happy for her but devastated; she was my best and most trusted friend. Bye-bye Beverly.
I was feeling scared and abandoned. I couldn’t afford the house on my own but none of my close friends needed a place to live. I wasn’t ready to try anyone new but I also didn’t want to have to move back into my parent’s nightmare. So, I found a second job selling fabric in a very exclusive shop in the same area as my mother’s boutique, and I shuttled back and forth between the two. At night when I’d get home I was exhausted, and the idea of folding anything after hours of rolling, straightening, and tidying both stores was anathema to me; I didn’t care if my clothes piled up into mountains or if my home looked like it was inhabited by rabid pack rats. Somehow I knew my mother was gloating at her prophecy now fulfilled. I ate anything and everything as long as it didn’t require cooking. Junk food was the fastest fix, along with spooning straight out of any one of the containers of ice cream I kept stashed in the freezer. Then I’d fall onto the clothes-strewn sofa and pass out from exhaustion.
After a few marathon weeks of long hours, I was almost comatose when my phone rang—some guy called Moses. The name rang a bell but that was all, until he mentioned that Katja had given him my number. He suggested I come down to the television station and we meet, as he was intrigued by my idea. I didn’t have an idea, Katja did, and I wasn’t sure what it was exactly but I didn’t say that and I agreed to meet him.
City Television was not just new, it was an outrageous affront to conventional TV. It was a place where the inmates were running the asylum. It was the brainchild of this man Moses Znaimer and he was unlike anyone I had ever met: brash, bold, and brilliant. I was terrified of him. But being young and completely without any knowledge of how television worked or who should be on it gave me my edge. I spun bullshit into whole cloth as I painted an indelible picture of a fat girl with long blonde hair who could do backbends and the splits while making small talk and, to sweeten the mix, I promised interviews with anyone who thought they were experts in the world of diets and food. I had barely finished what was my first ever “pitch” when Moses dismissed me by saying: “Great can’t wait to see your show.” Me too, I thought . . . What? This was crazy but exciting.
It would take a few months to pull this unexpected turn of events together. There was no real money, just plenty of anticipation while I and a group of funny, creative minds brainstormed what was to become a huge change in direction for me. In the meantime, rent had to be paid and dresses needed to be designed, and I needed to stop eating.
Getting Waisted is in stores April 1, or pre-order it now at amazon.ca and chapters.indigo.ca, HCI Books, 281 pages, $19.95
Getting Waisted is Monica Parker’s personal memoir, which takes a candid look into her life as a serial dieter. Parker, an actress and writer, shares tales of growing from a chubby baby into a chunky adult with passion and wit in this book inspired by her one-woman stage show, Sex, Pies & a Few White Lies.
Parker moved back to Toronto from Los Angeles almost five years ago. “If I hadn’t come back to Toronto, I don’t think I would have written the play, because L.A. is a place of distraction, there is always things to do because it is nice outside. It is a town about business, so you are always off negotiating, hustling or doing something.
“When I came back here and faced that first winter in 28 years – I didn’t want to go out. I hadn’t really settled here, I was a new, old girl. I knew the city but it wasn’t in my personal GPS,” she said. “I would stand at the kitchen sink and say how did this happen, but I wanted it to happen, I wanted to be here near my family. But, still it wasn’t home, so I decided to sit down and write a show.”
The show was a success, and from this, the Scottish-born actress fell into a speaking career. Through that, people suggested that she write a book. Not daunted by the fact that she had never written one, she was up for the challenge. Parker wrote a lengthy proposal, sent it out to three American agents, two of which wanted to represent her.
Parker says writing the book was just a joy. “In the book, every chapter begins with a diet, how much money I spent on it, how much weight I lost and how much weight I gained as soon as I stopped it, including the three that nearly killed me.”
Parker says it was fun to rip open her guts and talk about everything that has been her life including her struggle with weight. “What I really got from this book was whatever challenges you are given in life, if you flip that on its head you really see those are the gifts you are given. I believe being a big woman has given me an amazing career, it has always separated me out from the pack. It didn’t matter if I got older, I was always going to be a character actor. Being a writer has no age limit, but I also have all this experience of constantly being up against challenges and I know what to do. ”
She says that she doesn’t mind fat jokes, but doesn’t want them perpetrated on her. “I don’t mind saying things about myself, I find funny. I don’t feel that I am diminishing myself of anything, I feel it is a way of learning why we respond the way we do to things and a way of putting it out there so other people get comfortable.”
However, Parker said she does not like cruel humour. Parker said she respects honesty in humour and believes if you take pain in your life and put it into the light, then it has no power over you.
She hopes Getting Waisted inspires people to be more of who they are intended to be just as they are. To enjoy their lives and stop focusing on the negative and finding the positive in who they are.
“Being Jewish has given me my lifelong love of food,” admits Parker with a chuckle. “The activity known as a Jewish family dinner is volcanic. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone says it, all at one time. I would say that has added value to my humour.”
Parker divides her time between Los Angeles and Toronto, where she continues to work in film and television. She was also the the co-writer of the film All Dogs Go to Heaven.
In addition to touring her one-woman show, Parker just completed two features films. She has a recurring role in Defiance on the Sci-Fi channel, alongside her husband, actor and fashion designer, Gilles Savard.
Parker moved back to Toronto from Los Angeles almost five years ago. “If I hadn’t come back to Toronto, I don’t think I would have written the play, because L.A. is a place of distraction, there is always things to do because it is nice outside. It is a town about business, so you are always off negotiating, hustling or doing something.
“When I came back here and faced that first winter in 28 years – I didn’t want to go out. I hadn’t really settled here, I was a new, old girl. I knew the city but it wasn’t in my personal GPS,” she said. “I would stand at the kitchen sink and say how did this happen, but I wanted it to happen, I wanted to be here near my family. But, still it wasn’t home, so I decided to sit down and write a show.”
The show was a success, and from this, the Scottish-born actress fell into a speaking career. Through that, people suggested that she write a book. Not daunted by the fact that she had never written one, she was up for the challenge. Parker wrote a lengthy proposal, sent it out to three American agents, two of which wanted to represent her.
Parker says writing the book was just a joy. “In the book, every chapter begins with a diet, how much money I spent on it, how much weight I lost and how much weight I gained as soon as I stopped it, including the three that nearly killed me.”
Parker says it was fun to rip open her guts and talk about everything that has been her life including her struggle with weight. “What I really got from this book was whatever challenges you are given in life, if you flip that on its head you really see those are the gifts you are given. I believe being a big woman has given me an amazing career, it has always separated me out from the pack. It didn’t matter if I got older, I was always going to be a character actor. Being a writer has no age limit, but I also have all this experience of constantly being up against challenges and I know what to do. ”
She says that she doesn’t mind fat jokes, but doesn’t want them perpetrated on her. “I don’t mind saying things about myself, I find funny. I don’t feel that I am diminishing myself of anything, I feel it is a way of learning why we respond the way we do to things and a way of putting it out there so other people get comfortable.”
However, Parker said she does not like cruel humour. Parker said she respects honesty in humour and believes if you take pain in your life and put it into the light, then it has no power over you.
She hopes Getting Waisted inspires people to be more of who they are intended to be just as they are. To enjoy their lives and stop focusing on the negative and finding the positive in who they are.
“Being Jewish has given me my lifelong love of food,” admits Parker with a chuckle. “The activity known as a Jewish family dinner is volcanic. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone says it, all at one time. I would say that has added value to my humour.”
Parker divides her time between Los Angeles and Toronto, where she continues to work in film and television. She was also the the co-writer of the film All Dogs Go to Heaven.
In addition to touring her one-woman show, Parker just completed two features films. She has a recurring role in Defiance on the Sci-Fi channel, alongside her husband, actor and fashion designer, Gilles Savard.
Hi everyone,
Hope you all had lovely weeks – what will you be reading this weekend?
I’ve been completely absorbed in Monica Parker’s Getting Waisted. I’ve read a lot of books about people’s struggle with food, but rarely from the perspective of someone who society does consider overweight. What I loved about Monica’s book is that, despite the comments and prejudices she faces, she doesn’t let herself become a victim. She makes a lot of jokes and is very self-aware that her issues with food don’t simply depend on what people think – she is very open about the deeper emotional issues which lead her to comfort eat.
I will admit that I didn’t believe some of the diets she tried – I actually did a quick google search and was horrified to find out they actually existed, that people would actually put their bodies through such torture simply to try and lose some weight, and that someone somewhere is actually selling these ideas. So I loved that Monica is completely open about the side effects she faced, highlighting how unhealthy some of the diets were – there’s one where she ate so much fruit it started fermenting inside her stomach. I mean… that’s definitely not healthy!
Some of the stories really shocked me, particularly when she recounts people’s pressure to make her thinner. For example, arriving in Canada to meet her aunt, she is subjected to intense scrutiny from her family, who are determined to make her lost weight. Of course this intense pressure has the opposite effect as she turns to food for comfort, and I found myself angry on her behalf that someone felt it was their ‘duty’ to ‘fix’ her body.
The book isn’t just about dieting and food. Monica underlines the way her relationship with food is interlinked with the events in her life – moments of joy, for example when she is pregnant and for once people are accepting that her body isn’t what they consider ‘thin’, to the loss of both of her parents, as she comes to terms with her childhood and family life. Her move to Hollywood was where she really blossomed, as she pursued her love of writing, deciding to define herself by her talent rather than appearance, in a challenging environment where everyone is chasing physical ‘perfection’.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who has tried different diets – it definitely makes you appreciate that confidence comes from loving yourself, not letting yourself be defined by others.
Have a lovely weekend!
Julie xx
Hope you all had lovely weeks – what will you be reading this weekend?
I’ve been completely absorbed in Monica Parker’s Getting Waisted. I’ve read a lot of books about people’s struggle with food, but rarely from the perspective of someone who society does consider overweight. What I loved about Monica’s book is that, despite the comments and prejudices she faces, she doesn’t let herself become a victim. She makes a lot of jokes and is very self-aware that her issues with food don’t simply depend on what people think – she is very open about the deeper emotional issues which lead her to comfort eat.
I will admit that I didn’t believe some of the diets she tried – I actually did a quick google search and was horrified to find out they actually existed, that people would actually put their bodies through such torture simply to try and lose some weight, and that someone somewhere is actually selling these ideas. So I loved that Monica is completely open about the side effects she faced, highlighting how unhealthy some of the diets were – there’s one where she ate so much fruit it started fermenting inside her stomach. I mean… that’s definitely not healthy!
Some of the stories really shocked me, particularly when she recounts people’s pressure to make her thinner. For example, arriving in Canada to meet her aunt, she is subjected to intense scrutiny from her family, who are determined to make her lost weight. Of course this intense pressure has the opposite effect as she turns to food for comfort, and I found myself angry on her behalf that someone felt it was their ‘duty’ to ‘fix’ her body.
The book isn’t just about dieting and food. Monica underlines the way her relationship with food is interlinked with the events in her life – moments of joy, for example when she is pregnant and for once people are accepting that her body isn’t what they consider ‘thin’, to the loss of both of her parents, as she comes to terms with her childhood and family life. Her move to Hollywood was where she really blossomed, as she pursued her love of writing, deciding to define herself by her talent rather than appearance, in a challenging environment where everyone is chasing physical ‘perfection’.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who has tried different diets – it definitely makes you appreciate that confidence comes from loving yourself, not letting yourself be defined by others.
Have a lovely weekend!
Julie xx
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Hi, I'm Gracey! I'm an Oregon-native who's been transplanted to the cold wilds of Pennsylvania. Fashion for Giants is my personal style blog where I write about being a giant. Not a real one, of course, but as a tall, plus-sized woman, let me tell you that the struggle is real. It's real, people. I also blog about vintage, thrifting, thrifting vintage, books and exploring my new home state!
Last month I was lucky enough to be offered an advance copy of Monica Parker's new memoir, Getting Waisted: A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin.
And then all the stars aligned and I was even more lucky to be able to talk to woman herself about her new book.
What follows is my interview of the lovely Monica Parker.
Fashion for Giants: What prompted you to write Getting Waisted?
Monica Parker: After living in LA for years, we moved back to Ontario and when that first winter struck, I didn't want to go out in that! That led me to realize that I now had time to write and so I started writing. It didn't actually start out as a book, it started as a one woman play, Sex, Pies & A Few White Lies. The success of that play led to a speaking career and eventually to writing the book.
FFG: How do your friends/family feel about being written about?
MP: My friends are great and I say as much in the book so no problems there. And both my parents are dead so they don't get a vote (laughs), but I believe they'd be proud & wouldn't have minded being used as material because they both loved me so much & believed in me. Really, the only person I was sort of hard on was my sister. She is still alive, but said whatever you want, whatever you need to do is fine. Especially after I explained that I was writing from my twelve year old self's point of view. I did purposefully exclude my son after a certain age because his life is his life and his stories are his to tell.
FFG: Did you ever feel, or were you ever made to feel, guilty for losing weight?
MP: Yes. People encouraged me to lose weight, saying "you should lose weight to be happier & healthier" but when I did, it changed the status quo. Men were okay with it, but for women I now became their competition. What they didn't realize was that I was always their competition. They just couldn't see it. I have always believed I was attractive, when I wasn't filled with self-loathing. If I can get someone alone for five minutes, they'll see past anything & everything; I'm good company!
FFG: Would you say you're now done with diets?
MP: Yes. I have times when I try to eat clean, but no more diets. I'm just trying to be better at clean eating, eating less and moving more.
FFG: How did you remember all of these stories? Did you have the help of a journal?
MP: (laughs) My son says he now understands the random pieces of paper that were piled up all over the place. Some of the stories in the book are stories that I had told so often that they are a part of my lore. But, I am also a writer so when I think of something, I write it down. These stories were from notes I wrote down on scraps of paper and even napkins.
When it came time to write, I covered a queen-size bed with years of notes and then used different colored markers to annotate them. It's maybe not the most scientific process, but it worked!
FFG: You're also an actor; do you prefer writing or acting?
MP: They are very different but if I had to choose I'd say writing is by far my favorite. When I'm writing, I get to play in my own sandbox, coming up with all the ideas and making all of the decisions. Acting is more collaborative which can be good or bad, depending on the project. Producing and writing are my two favorite things. I especially like producing because I am a decision-maker so I like making those decisions.
FFG: Is it easier or harder today to be a non-traditional actor in Hollywood?
MP: Oh, it's easier. Women have changed so much. They are much more demanding that they be given a place in the world. Luck does play a role in Hollywood success, but if you have some level of chutzpah you can make your own luck. It's still a stacked deck in favor of the genetic lottery winners, but yes, it's better now. Especially now with such a great movement towards being okay as you are. It's evolving with great people like Melissa McCarthy, Adele, Oprah, Ellen. I think the American public is having is forced down their throat and more welcome it than don't.
FFG: I loved reading Getting Waisted; any chance you have any other books in the works?
MP: Yes, there is a totally another book. This was my first, but I love taking what I think and putting it into a book.
Monica went on to explain that although there are now constant conversations about diversity, she doesn't feel there is enough discussion about body diversity. Her mission is to bring that topic to the table. Like her book, Monica is warm, funny and smart. I loved talking to her as much as I loved reading her book and I think you, Reader Friends, would enjoy Monica as well.
That's why I'm giving one lucky reader, though US/Canada only, the opportunity to win a free copy of Monica's book, Getting Waisted: A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin. To enter, please just leave a comment below indicating you're interested and provide a valid email address. I'll choose a winner on Tuesday, April 15th.
Bon Chance!
My Review on Amazon:
Monica Parker's new book is funny, smart and real. Although I don't share a lot of the experiences Parker writes about in her book, it didn't keep me from loving it. She has a wicked, wonderful sense of humor, that shines through even during the toughest times. As does her intelligence. What I liked best about "Getting Waisted" though, was how real it was. Parker is a straight shooter, never playing the victim card, never hiding behind the events of her past. Instead, she lays them out in a way that anyone can appreciate, whether you've struggled with your weight your whole life, like Parker, or not. Reading Monica Parker's memoir makes you feel like you're spending time with her, laughing & crying over blintzes and smuggled ham, which is good, because after you read this memoir you DO want to spend time with her. Highly recommend.
Gracey
BOOKTOPIA
Monica Parker bridges the divide between serial dieter's survival guide and memoir, taking readers on a hilariously funny yet bumpy ride from chubby baby to chunky adult.
In Getting Waisted, Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, then she tells how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. After all, "no one tells a short person to get taller, or a tall person to get shorter, but fat people hear about their bodies all the time." From Living Large in a size zero world to jumping into the dating pool without causing a tidal wave of angst, Monica learns that when you stop buying what the diet-devils are selling and start liking yourself, life is far more rewarding. When Mr. Right appears out of thin air, will she run back to the catalogue of Mr. Wrongs out of fear? Readers will laugh and cry as she realizes that while she thought it was her body that was in the way, it was really what she kept in her head that needed adjusting.
Ultimately, Getting Waisted is an inspirational look at life through society's warped fun-house mirror, but Monica's reflection tells the real tale: everyone is always under construction and we are all flawed, chipped, and dented, but that doesn't mean we're not interesting, vital, and sexy.
For the Order Page and an Amazon Preview go here:
https://www.booktopia.com.au/getting-waisted-monica-parker/prod9780757317743.html
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Hi, I'm Gracey! I'm an Oregon-native who's been transplanted to the cold wilds of Pennsylvania. Fashion for Giants is my personal style blog where I write about being a giant. Not a real one, of course, but as a tall, plus-sized woman, let me tell you that the struggle is real. It's real, people. I also blog about vintage, thrifting, thrifting vintage, books and exploring my new home state!
Last month I was lucky enough to be offered an advance copy of Monica Parker's new memoir, Getting Waisted: A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin.
And then all the stars aligned and I was even more lucky to be able to talk to woman herself about her new book.
What follows is my interview of the lovely Monica Parker.
Fashion for Giants: What prompted you to write Getting Waisted?
Monica Parker: After living in LA for years, we moved back to Ontario and when that first winter struck, I didn't want to go out in that! That led me to realize that I now had time to write and so I started writing. It didn't actually start out as a book, it started as a one woman play, Sex, Pies & A Few White Lies. The success of that play led to a speaking career and eventually to writing the book.
FFG: How do your friends/family feel about being written about?
MP: My friends are great and I say as much in the book so no problems there. And both my parents are dead so they don't get a vote (laughs), but I believe they'd be proud & wouldn't have minded being used as material because they both loved me so much & believed in me. Really, the only person I was sort of hard on was my sister. She is still alive, but said whatever you want, whatever you need to do is fine. Especially after I explained that I was writing from my twelve year old self's point of view. I did purposefully exclude my son after a certain age because his life is his life and his stories are his to tell.
FFG: Did you ever feel, or were you ever made to feel, guilty for losing weight?
MP: Yes. People encouraged me to lose weight, saying "you should lose weight to be happier & healthier" but when I did, it changed the status quo. Men were okay with it, but for women I now became their competition. What they didn't realize was that I was always their competition. They just couldn't see it. I have always believed I was attractive, when I wasn't filled with self-loathing. If I can get someone alone for five minutes, they'll see past anything & everything; I'm good company!
FFG: Would you say you're now done with diets?
MP: Yes. I have times when I try to eat clean, but no more diets. I'm just trying to be better at clean eating, eating less and moving more.
FFG: How did you remember all of these stories? Did you have the help of a journal?
MP: (laughs) My son says he now understands the random pieces of paper that were piled up all over the place. Some of the stories in the book are stories that I had told so often that they are a part of my lore. But, I am also a writer so when I think of something, I write it down. These stories were from notes I wrote down on scraps of paper and even napkins.
When it came time to write, I covered a queen-size bed with years of notes and then used different colored markers to annotate them. It's maybe not the most scientific process, but it worked!
FFG: You're also an actor; do you prefer writing or acting?
MP: They are very different but if I had to choose I'd say writing is by far my favorite. When I'm writing, I get to play in my own sandbox, coming up with all the ideas and making all of the decisions. Acting is more collaborative which can be good or bad, depending on the project. Producing and writing are my two favorite things. I especially like producing because I am a decision-maker so I like making those decisions.
FFG: Is it easier or harder today to be a non-traditional actor in Hollywood?
MP: Oh, it's easier. Women have changed so much. They are much more demanding that they be given a place in the world. Luck does play a role in Hollywood success, but if you have some level of chutzpah you can make your own luck. It's still a stacked deck in favor of the genetic lottery winners, but yes, it's better now. Especially now with such a great movement towards being okay as you are. It's evolving with great people like Melissa McCarthy, Adele, Oprah, Ellen. I think the American public is having is forced down their throat and more welcome it than don't.
FFG: I loved reading Getting Waisted; any chance you have any other books in the works?
MP: Yes, there is a totally another book. This was my first, but I love taking what I think and putting it into a book.
Monica went on to explain that although there are now constant conversations about diversity, she doesn't feel there is enough discussion about body diversity. Her mission is to bring that topic to the table. Like her book, Monica is warm, funny and smart. I loved talking to her as much as I loved reading her book and I think you, Reader Friends, would enjoy Monica as well.
That's why I'm giving one lucky reader, though US/Canada only, the opportunity to win a free copy of Monica's book, Getting Waisted: A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin. To enter, please just leave a comment below indicating you're interested and provide a valid email address. I'll choose a winner on Tuesday, April 15th.
Bon Chance!
My Review on Amazon:
Monica Parker's new book is funny, smart and real. Although I don't share a lot of the experiences Parker writes about in her book, it didn't keep me from loving it. She has a wicked, wonderful sense of humor, that shines through even during the toughest times. As does her intelligence. What I liked best about "Getting Waisted" though, was how real it was. Parker is a straight shooter, never playing the victim card, never hiding behind the events of her past. Instead, she lays them out in a way that anyone can appreciate, whether you've struggled with your weight your whole life, like Parker, or not. Reading Monica Parker's memoir makes you feel like you're spending time with her, laughing & crying over blintzes and smuggled ham, which is good, because after you read this memoir you DO want to spend time with her. Highly recommend.
Gracey
BOOKTOPIA
Monica Parker bridges the divide between serial dieter's survival guide and memoir, taking readers on a hilariously funny yet bumpy ride from chubby baby to chunky adult.
In Getting Waisted, Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, then she tells how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. After all, "no one tells a short person to get taller, or a tall person to get shorter, but fat people hear about their bodies all the time." From Living Large in a size zero world to jumping into the dating pool without causing a tidal wave of angst, Monica learns that when you stop buying what the diet-devils are selling and start liking yourself, life is far more rewarding. When Mr. Right appears out of thin air, will she run back to the catalogue of Mr. Wrongs out of fear? Readers will laugh and cry as she realizes that while she thought it was her body that was in the way, it was really what she kept in her head that needed adjusting.
Ultimately, Getting Waisted is an inspirational look at life through society's warped fun-house mirror, but Monica's reflection tells the real tale: everyone is always under construction and we are all flawed, chipped, and dented, but that doesn't mean we're not interesting, vital, and sexy.
For the Order Page and an Amazon Preview go here:
https://www.booktopia.com.au/getting-waisted-monica-parker/prod9780757317743.html
